I agree with a lot of this. I believe our lessons in life are only as hard as we make them. I also see a balance here. Not giving up on things right away, and not staying in a losing situation until it becomes self sacrifice.
And I personally wouldn’t phrase it as suffering is “worth it”. That dismisses a lot of real pain, especially the inflicted pain that was out of our control. I also don’t think anyone’s pain or liberation from it is better or worse than another’s. I think comparing trauma just leads to trauma olympics.
I can only explain my perception of my own past. Once I truly accepted the past for what it was and decided to let it go and move forward, the weight of the past fell off and things became clear. In that clarity I could see how all the parts of my past had led me right where I was, which was finally freedom. I can’t say for sure whether I would have ended up in the same place if things had been different. But for me it doesn’t matter. I’m just grateful I got here.
Another thing that comes to mind about suffering is Newton’s third law of motion: for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Maybe the suffering that is endured makes us proportionately stronger or the liberation proportionately more profound or the greater the suffering the greater the need to break free from it. Who really knows and is it really that important. 🤷♂️
I don’t know what life looks like from the perspective of a person who never experienced suffering. Maybe they live in an ignorant bliss. Or they recognize suffering and feel blessed that they didn’t have to endure it.
The way I see it, is life is both the journey and the destination. It is what we make it. Some people can’t wait for this life to be over so they can escape the suffering and get to the next life. But when living life waiting for the next one, you don’t fully to live this one.
I don’t claim to have any answers and these are just some perspectives. If you don’t like them I have others 😁
There were years I tried to make my pain sacred just to survive it, to pretend the breaking had a purpose. But some things didn’t teach. They just tore.
Still, something tender grew in me after. Not because of the wound, but in spite of it.
Thank you for reminding me I don’t have to glorify the ache to honor what I became. 🌒🕊️
I guess it was not all wrong to give your pain a purpose back then. It probably helped you survive until you were in calmer waters. But in the end of course you want to live pain free.
Well said, I whole heartedly agree with your article Tim. Especially agree those who make it through adversity and suffering were already strong (or had a lot of support) There's that old saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". I don't think it makes you stronger, maybe just more aware and therefore better at avoiding similar kinds of suffering in the future.
To some extent it makes sense like when I did my cold shower exercises. It felt terrible but had positives outcomes. Of course that is not same as real suffering. The shower I can end every second and it never caused harm or trauma.
For muscle training I also understand it, though it is widely known that you do actually harm with overtraining. So the benefit is not actually in the suffering but in using your muscles to the max without doing too much damage. So in a way the slogan "no pain no gain" also is a bit outdated these days...
Yes many things of the past are quite sad. And animal rights before rights for children.
But so many things got better.... and I hope that we keep on learning that pain and suffering has no glory... we have smart minds to find better solutions.
I absolutely agree, Tim.
Imagining a world where compassion and empathy are glorified gives me hope.
Well… in a way they were and still are in many places.
There is reasons why some country care more about their people including the poor more than some others…
I agree with a lot of this. I believe our lessons in life are only as hard as we make them. I also see a balance here. Not giving up on things right away, and not staying in a losing situation until it becomes self sacrifice.
And I personally wouldn’t phrase it as suffering is “worth it”. That dismisses a lot of real pain, especially the inflicted pain that was out of our control. I also don’t think anyone’s pain or liberation from it is better or worse than another’s. I think comparing trauma just leads to trauma olympics.
I can only explain my perception of my own past. Once I truly accepted the past for what it was and decided to let it go and move forward, the weight of the past fell off and things became clear. In that clarity I could see how all the parts of my past had led me right where I was, which was finally freedom. I can’t say for sure whether I would have ended up in the same place if things had been different. But for me it doesn’t matter. I’m just grateful I got here.
Another thing that comes to mind about suffering is Newton’s third law of motion: for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Maybe the suffering that is endured makes us proportionately stronger or the liberation proportionately more profound or the greater the suffering the greater the need to break free from it. Who really knows and is it really that important. 🤷♂️
I don’t know what life looks like from the perspective of a person who never experienced suffering. Maybe they live in an ignorant bliss. Or they recognize suffering and feel blessed that they didn’t have to endure it.
The way I see it, is life is both the journey and the destination. It is what we make it. Some people can’t wait for this life to be over so they can escape the suffering and get to the next life. But when living life waiting for the next one, you don’t fully to live this one.
I don’t claim to have any answers and these are just some perspectives. If you don’t like them I have others 😁
Reading this felt like exhale.
There were years I tried to make my pain sacred just to survive it, to pretend the breaking had a purpose. But some things didn’t teach. They just tore.
Still, something tender grew in me after. Not because of the wound, but in spite of it.
Thank you for reminding me I don’t have to glorify the ache to honor what I became. 🌒🕊️
I guess it was not all wrong to give your pain a purpose back then. It probably helped you survive until you were in calmer waters. But in the end of course you want to live pain free.
Well said, I whole heartedly agree with your article Tim. Especially agree those who make it through adversity and suffering were already strong (or had a lot of support) There's that old saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". I don't think it makes you stronger, maybe just more aware and therefore better at avoiding similar kinds of suffering in the future.
Yes I know that saying and also used to say it.
To some extent it makes sense like when I did my cold shower exercises. It felt terrible but had positives outcomes. Of course that is not same as real suffering. The shower I can end every second and it never caused harm or trauma.
For muscle training I also understand it, though it is widely known that you do actually harm with overtraining. So the benefit is not actually in the suffering but in using your muscles to the max without doing too much damage. So in a way the slogan "no pain no gain" also is a bit outdated these days...
I know how dogs used to be trained, especially hunting dogs
I was "trained" like a hunting dog with the old methods
Right this moment crying is not enough. I want to scream.
Yes many things of the past are quite sad. And animal rights before rights for children.
But so many things got better.... and I hope that we keep on learning that pain and suffering has no glory... we have smart minds to find better solutions.
Yes...there are better solutions, happy ones... we only have to decide to choose them