Notes to Myself - The Beauty and Pain We Carry

Why the quietest stories often carry the deepest truth

Sometimes it's the small moments we remember most, even years later. They don't have to be dramatic or especially beautiful.

Often, these moments carry simple insights that let us understand our lives a little bit better.

That is what today’s reflection is about.

Image by Ester Marie Doysabas on Unsplash

Under The Surface

It was a mild summer day. I was sitting on a bench by the city lake with my laptop, finally trying to finish my blog post. Instead, I distracted myself by looking at pictures from my journey through Latin America.

After a while, an older woman politely asked if she could sit down next to me. She was neatly dressed and had a quiet presence about her.

I noticed her looking at my screen with curiosity.

“Where was that photo taken?” she asked.

I told her a bit about my journey, and I noticed how slowly she grew excited.

“I went to Cuba about 40 years ago,” she said.

She continued with a story about her Cuban tour guide. He once brought her back to her hotel and insisted on bringing her all the way to her room.

“And when we were in the elevator, what had to happen happened. He pulled me close like only a real man can, and kissed me deeply,” she said.

Her hands were trembling. She brushed her hair back with a soft and youthful smile.

She told me more about her life. About all the problems with her family, about always being pushed down, and about the loneliness she had carried all these years.

It seemed that this tour guide had awakened something in her that she could never fully bring to life afterwards. But he had given her this sweet moment.

I’ve noticed that many people carry stories like this within them.

From the outside, we see neither the pain nor the beautiful moments a person has lived through.

But when someone opens up, it can reveal far more than we might imagine.

Feeling Inadequate

We all have different starting points in life. Some people have a tough childhood. Others grow up in loving environments. Later in life, they face their own losses and crises.

There may be a few people who glide smoothly through their whole life. These days, I believe they are very rare.

In the past, I thought that everyone else had figured out life and that there was something wrong with me, that I was not good enough, or that I did not fit into this world.

Back then, I did not know the stories other people were carrying.

It is not at all about comparing ourselves with others. Rather, the point is that such life stories show us we are actually closer and more similar to one another than we are often aware of.

Who walks through life with their wounds fully visible to the outside world? Especially if they learned early on that showing feelings only leads to more pain.

When we share our stories, we make it easier for others to recognize themselves in them. And that can create an invisible bond between people.

Of course, this only works when there is trust. Sometimes a simple bench on a summer day at the lake is all it takes…

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Quote of The Week

Don’t offer a lecture to a person who needs a hug.

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