Scapegoat Healing Journey Part VIII

When Life Reflects Who You’ve Become

In the previous part, I wrote about the transition from survival to a life that is freed from the burdens of the past.

Or in other words: When you know your healing is complete.

Today, I take it a step further and share from my own experience what your new life may bring. While there are spiritual components to it, most of it can be explained from a rational perspective.

This means that what became real for me can very well become real for you, too—no magic involved. Of course, you have to do the work and walk your healing journey step by step without shortcuts.

Let’s start with the easy bits first...

Image by sasint on Pixabay

A New Clarity in Daily Life

In the void stage, you learned what inner peace is and what it feels like. No more war in your mind. No voices that make your life hell. No more rumination and thoughts spinning you into dizziness.

Your body has changed and knows it’s no longer in survival mode. The peace you feel is a product of your thoughts now flowing calmly and smoothly.

With a calm mind, your vision broadens and lets you see things from different perspectives. You become more of an observer.

When people try to invalidate you now or put you down, you see things for what they are. Their behaviour has nothing to do with you. It’s all about them.

You know with your heart, mind, and soul that you are safe. You stay calm, tell them to stop, or simply walk away.

That’s just a simple example.

But it goes way further than that. A broader and more neutral perception allows you to see all aspects-the bad and the good.

In survival mode, your brain has a strong bias for potential danger and all the bad around you. But now you can also see all the other aspects, too.

The result of this broader perspective is clarity. And this will make it so much easier to navigate through daily life.

Or simply put, all the drama and suffering in your life will be greatly reduced. Imagine an old, wise man who has gone through everything and now enjoys daily life with wisdom and in peace. And that’s exactly what your new baseline energy will be like.

Synchronicities & Shifts in Perception

I hope you have followed me so far. Because what comes now may sound a bit woo-woo at first.

Sometimes things magically fall into place as if an invisible hand is working for you. Often this happens when we’ve tried everything and are ready to give up. Out of nowhere, things suddenly work.

That’s when life is on your side, and you wonder why it can’t always be that easy.

But... yes, there is a but.

Life doesn’t need to be hard and full of suffering. Of course, the sun doesn’t shine every day. Sometimes it rains, it’s foggy, or whatever. But when you are in a safe place, it doesn’t need to be a struggle.

A calm and relaxed mind supports you greatly in finding the things that you need. And often these things are all around you.

The reason why you couldn’t see them is that your brain was stressed out or hypervigilant about potential dangers when you were in survival mode. That’s exactly when life feels like a struggle.

Your vision and what you can perceive are rather narrow. And it’s the total opposite when you have healed from your traumatic past. Then, your perception is broad, you’ll suddenly see not just the risks, but also all the golden opportunities around you.

In the beginning, it feels like magic has entered your life. Suddenly, you see obvious solutions where before there was only a downward spiral of problems.

But the only thing that changed is your brain. When you feel safe, your brain is freed from all the energy-sucking survival programs. It will feel as if all your life you drove your car with a handbrake and then suddenly releasing it, and wondering how fantastic your car suddenly has become.

In other words, what feels like magic is simply a shift to fully living in the energy you were always meant to live in.

Mastering the Waves of Life

As a scapegoat, you had to carry the guilt and shame that was put on your back and additionally had to deal with your own problems. You were strong all the time.

Life still has its ups and downs. Nothing changed on the outside. But inside, you have become a different person.

Your lows won’t be that low anymore. Through your healing, you learned to trust yourself. You freed yourself from the load that was put on your back. And besides all that, you survived.

Nothing broke you.

You reconnected to your feelings and emotions. They tell you when you are tired and need rest. You not only listen— you follow what your body tells you. It’s your ally. You, your body, soul, and mind are one entity, and you see yourself as such.

There might be times when you feel like you relapse. Maybe you fall back into people pleasing or allow someone to overstep your boundaries.

Healing will not turn you into a superhuman, but it will make you more self-aware. You will quickly recognise what’s going on. Maybe you will stumble a bit, but you won’t fall.

You can compare it with a wound that is healed with a big scar left. Most of the time, you will be totally fine with it. Only when the weather changes can those damn scars become itchy. But then you know what’s going on and what cream you may need to apply to get back to normal.

Life as a Mirror to Your Story

Sometimes I think the purpose of life is to close the circles we didn’t even know were open — to see our own story reflected in someone else’s, and suddenly understand it from the other side.

The more I progressed on my healing journey, the more my outer world seemed to change. But it actually didn’t.

What changed was how I saw the world around me. I was stunned when I recognised how lovely young mothers treated their children in my neighbourhood.

It first felt so unreal, and it certainly didn’t have much to do with my childhood. But... it showed a childhood that I could have had in a healthy family system.

A little later, an old woman told me her life story. I was surprised by how bitter she was about her children. Turned out they severely cut contact with her, although they live close by.

For me, the whole thing felt as if I saw a projection of my mother. Quite a bit spooky, but it was interesting to see the other side. It’s a bit like the missing pieces of a puzzle were put together.

There are so many other things that surprise me again and again, how much of what I see in my environment has to do with me.

The rational explanation is that all that has always been there, and my brain is more open to let these signals through. It’s also quite possible that living a more authentic life resonates with the things I need to see... maybe it’s just because I love closing circles so much and it helps me understand the world at least a little.

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Coming Up Next

I’ve only scratched the surface today. Next Tuesday, I’ll share a story with you that touched me deeply — long before I ever understood my scapegoat role.

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