Notes to Myself - Part VII

On effort, ease, and the courage to stop forcing life

Today I took a walk along a nearby canal. Spring arrived just a few days ago. You can feel how nature is slowly coming back to life. The birds are singing their most beautiful songs and make sure they are getting heard. Bushes have their first leaves, and the sunlight renders everything in a beautiful, warm tone.

I like these walks. They inspire my brain with thoughts that I would not have when sitting at my desk. Our environment influences us more than we realize. Sometimes a simple change of scenery rearranges something inside.

As I stood there watching the water move, my inner voice asked me:

Why don't I do more things that feel like the natural flow of the water?

Things that come lightly and don't need me to force them or put pressure on myself?

And that's how I remembered the Notes to Myself series. Writing it was always fun and came easily. And what a surprise, it's also what resonates with you the most.

So here we go again…

From today on, I will publish a new Notes to Myself every Tuesday.

I have plenty of ideas about how to keep them fresh and thoughtful.

Image by Solen Feyissa on Unsplash

Life Is Allowed to Feel Light

Every morning, I admire the red squirrels that come to my balcony. To me, they are symbols of lived lightness.

If they cannot get a nut, they go on to their next food source. After a few minutes, they come back and try to get the nut with another approach. This can go for many rounds. But there is never any drama, frustration, or hard feelings.

I grew up with a different mindset.

My family only valued very hard-working people, and of course, only when they were successful… only then was it deserved. Those who achieved things easily were called lazy, and my family just waited for the moment their lucky streak would finally end.

Hard work was not all wrong. But at some point in my professional life, I noticed that my biggest achievements came rather easily, like when I did not have to force myself and mainly did things out of joy or curiosity.

If you constantly hit resistance and your energy keeps draining, it could be a sign to stop pushing harder. The obstacle could be there for a reason.

Of course, when you try new things, there is often an initial friction, as if we first have to show that we really want it. But after that, there should be some kind of fulfillment.

Life is not meant to turn us into permanent cogs in a wheel. We only have this one life and want to live and experience it beyond just survival.

Healing Often Works In Mysterious Ways

In the past, I attended all kinds of courses I hoped would help me fill the emptiness inside. Somehow, I did not really feel connected. I wanted to belong and be accepted by those around me.

Reiki, Yoga, and different forms of energy work were all pleasant. I kept on practising each for a few months after. But somehow I did not notice any changes. So I gave up and moved to the next course until this felt somehow pointless.

Meditation was similar. It actually helped in the moment. It helped me calm down after work. I kept practicing for several years until I switched to short naps, which basically calmed me down as much.

And yet, years later, I became aware of what had changed.

All those practises helped me to reintegrate my emotional world. It happened so smoothly that I didn't recognize it as healing. There was no single breakthrough. Just one small opening leading to another.

Meditation helped me become more aware of my thoughts in daily life. I now notice when I drift off, slip into old patterns, or when I start over-explaining myself. Often, I can even interrupt that and change my direction.

All this reminds me of a key moment on my one-year journey through Latin America.

After a few months of traveling, I overheard a couple at the next table discussing happiness. I realized that I hadn't thought about happiness in ages. And the simple reason was that I was happy. Nothing was missing in my life, nothing that I wanted to be different. I just lived my life. I was in the flow.

Healing seems to work in a similar way.

When the weight of the past becomes lighter, we do not necessarily celebrate it. We simply live. We move. We stop negotiating with old ghosts.

Like the squirrel that jumps from tree to tree and somehow manages to receive nuts from humans with a hypnotic look.

It does not question whether it deserves them.

It just lives.

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