Setting Boundaries - Part II
How to notice when your boundaries are crossed
Setting boundaries sounds so easy when you read about it. We just say no when we mean it, and that's how we keep our distance from people who are no good for us.
Of course, this can only work when we notice that our boundaries have been crossed right when that happens. Only then can we protect them and stop a situation from going too far. Otherwise, we would replay everything in our heads, which probably wouldn't change much.
This episode is about how to notice potential boundary crossings early.
The good thing is, we don't need to know our boundaries in detail before we start. In most cases, our body reacts before the mind fully understands what is happening.
In simple terms, you can imagine boundaries as a fence around your house. Inside that fence is your home, the place where you feel safe.
You only let people on your property whom you trust and feel safe with.
If a stranger tries to enter, you naturally become alert and feel less safe. That's direct signals coming from your body. Your brain kicks in after that and tries to make sense of the situation.
It’s very similar when our boundaries are crossed. Our bodies often notice it first.
If we learned as children to suppress our feelings, those signals do not fully reach our awareness. They are rather silent voices. But they are there. All we need to hear them is to pay a little more attention to what is going on inside us.