Wow!! In my case, you put a finger right on the center of the problem.
My place is not safe, and for now, all I can do is to fight off its triggers and anxiety while, at the same time, I prepare myself to leave it. I know that I haven't started healing yet, I'm still on survival because of my unsafe environment.
But if I left now, it would be just a meaningless escape. That's why I need to prepare.
I also need a financial cushion to begin with. So I work, build new skills, and save money.
I need walks in nature. There is no nature near me, so I need to change area.
I need distance from the people who wounded me, but only physical distance is not enough. I need distance from certain mentalities and value systems, so I need to change country; to do this, I need to learn a new language, and I'm learning it.
Many steps+ action+ percistence+ patience+ time--> change unsafe and toxic physical and mental surroundings -->healing
Yes, just running away often is not possible and it alone doesn't solve the problem. But as you said you can do many steps... don't need to be big ones... but they will add up. And one thing you can always do is to establish boundaries. Yes, some people will try to violet them but even in those cases they kinda give you a line of defense. And that line will get stronger over time.
In my journey, I found that until one can find a safe space, they can still begin with making their own being their safe place first. It begins with making very tiny decisions for yourself, your peace - without declaring it but just doing it. Not engaging in anything that doesn't nourish you. Doing away with the need to please others, one step at a time. And loving yourself - every part of you - for everything you do or do not do. Loving yourself even of anyone else doesn't.
Another thing that helped me is that I started to grow plants from plant cuttings. I could see their roots developing in water. Every single tiny new leaf brought a bundle of joy. Watching their progress every morning, before the day would become loud and busy, became my sacred practice. It healed me to watch the life booming out of almost nothing. Watching life grow from itself in that silence brought me into a place of deep peace and love.
Growing plants is amazing. Did that for a while with balcony flowers as if they were "children". Was pretty fun. Now I feed squirrels coming to that balcony.
I'm looking for this place now. Moved from frying pan to fire and, now, an entire relocation across state lines is pending. Appreciate this article, seeing this is validating!
Yes, it's a bit crazy times currently. Sometimes you can't choose the timing and only can make small steps to getting better. Improve a bit here and a bit there, and then even hard times can be a little less hard...
Wow!! In my case, you put a finger right on the center of the problem.
My place is not safe, and for now, all I can do is to fight off its triggers and anxiety while, at the same time, I prepare myself to leave it. I know that I haven't started healing yet, I'm still on survival because of my unsafe environment.
But if I left now, it would be just a meaningless escape. That's why I need to prepare.
I also need a financial cushion to begin with. So I work, build new skills, and save money.
I need walks in nature. There is no nature near me, so I need to change area.
I need distance from the people who wounded me, but only physical distance is not enough. I need distance from certain mentalities and value systems, so I need to change country; to do this, I need to learn a new language, and I'm learning it.
Many steps+ action+ percistence+ patience+ time--> change unsafe and toxic physical and mental surroundings -->healing
Thank you for this great article :-)
Yes, just running away often is not possible and it alone doesn't solve the problem. But as you said you can do many steps... don't need to be big ones... but they will add up. And one thing you can always do is to establish boundaries. Yes, some people will try to violet them but even in those cases they kinda give you a line of defense. And that line will get stronger over time.
Thank you for sharing your lessons!
In my journey, I found that until one can find a safe space, they can still begin with making their own being their safe place first. It begins with making very tiny decisions for yourself, your peace - without declaring it but just doing it. Not engaging in anything that doesn't nourish you. Doing away with the need to please others, one step at a time. And loving yourself - every part of you - for everything you do or do not do. Loving yourself even of anyone else doesn't.
Another thing that helped me is that I started to grow plants from plant cuttings. I could see their roots developing in water. Every single tiny new leaf brought a bundle of joy. Watching their progress every morning, before the day would become loud and busy, became my sacred practice. It healed me to watch the life booming out of almost nothing. Watching life grow from itself in that silence brought me into a place of deep peace and love.
I hope it helps.
Thank you for your supportive feedback.
Growing plants is amazing. Did that for a while with balcony flowers as if they were "children". Was pretty fun. Now I feed squirrels coming to that balcony.
Stay 💪 and believe in your own goodness ✨️
🤗
I'm looking for this place now. Moved from frying pan to fire and, now, an entire relocation across state lines is pending. Appreciate this article, seeing this is validating!
Thank you for your feedback.
Wishing you best of luck for your new home. Hope it’s where you can shine your light.
Excellent points, Tim.
Thank you, Christine 🤗
Yes, it's a bit crazy times currently. Sometimes you can't choose the timing and only can make small steps to getting better. Improve a bit here and a bit there, and then even hard times can be a little less hard...