Becoming Whole Again

Realigning body, mind and soul after living in your head for too long

Today's post is something I wish my younger self had access to.

The things I know now would have made life a lot easier. But I suppose that's how it goes with lessons that truly change your life for the better.

Back then, I didn't realize how fragile I really was.

Image by Noel Nichols on Unsplash

I was all in my head, cut off from my feelings without even knowing. The only feeling I had was not belonging. I felt hollow inside, like big pieces of me were missing.

My mind helped me out of this situation by putting focus on the future. I believed that if I worked just hard enough, I could prove my value and finally belong. I had no idea where… just somewhere.

I was chasing goals without having a real destination or a reason to live for. I simply hoped that one day life would get better.

But that day never came.

Whenever I reached a milestone, I felt even more hollow. It was like climbing a high mountain and reaching the summit, totally exhausted, with no idea where to go next. Only then did I realize that none of it could fill the hole inside me.

I had a blind spot I couldn't see, because I was experiencing everything through the lens of my mind.

Mind over matter is an illusion

In the Western world, we're taught to believe that everything can be fixed with the right mindset. The positive thinking movement is just one part of that.

But it goes further.

We often confuse thinking things through with actually having control over life.

So we learn to observe our thoughts and guide them in a more helpful direction. And for many challenges in life, that actually works quite well.

The mind is like a hammer. It is an excellent tool for hitting nails and driving them into wood. But would you use a hammer to find out what love is about?

Well, I tried. I thought I was being smart.

I prepared tons of affirmations and hoped that if I just hammered them into my brain often enough, I'd attract a partner who would magically fill the hole inside me.

Didn't happen… With a partner, I often felt even emptier than before.

And that's when I realized that my mind could only take me so far in life.

Connecting with my body

At one point, I was so desperate that I started trying things that made no sense to my mind. But in some way, I was curious whether any of the esoteric stuff actually could do anything.

I took several Reiki and spiritual healing classes. The goal was to ground myself and connect with my body. It didn't really work, I thought.

But then something happened.

I started to feel my hands even when I wasn't using them. Like some energy in them caused a mild tingling. It felt like magic. At least for me.

The hole in me stayed wide open. And life actually got worse.

My job, which used to be fun, started to feel like torture. I was asking myself why I was doing all this. Getting up in the morning, working, coming home exhausted, and hoping for a cozy Saturday to feel alive for at least one day a week.

My life had no soul. And I did not know what I was living for.

Letting my soul shine through

Confusion can be a great invitation to seek clarity.

I started asking myself what I wanted to do with my life, but no answer came. My mind was overwhelmed, and I still wasn't really connected to my feelings.

But then a new voice made it through the cracks.

If you had only a few years left to live, what would you do?

My answer was traveling. That was something that I had always loved. It was during those few weeks of annual vacation that I felt free, with no weight on my shoulders.

Do it! And do it to the fullest! You have all the money you need. No excuses!

My mind tried to reason me out of this.

But the voice was stronger.

It was the first time I heard my soul speaking.

You need to experience what you're looking for

It may sound like a paradox.

But it's the one message I would give to my younger self.

You have mind, body, and soul. Right now, you may only know your mind.

It is a beautiful tool that has helped you get to where you are. It will remain a powerful ally.

But…

You might think you know your body, too. But with body, I actually mean your emotional world. The surest sign that you are not truly connected to it is this question:

What do you feel right now?

So if you struggle to answer because your mind cannot make sense of the question, then you already know what experience you're missing.

You may still have no idea what this even means, but at least you now know what to look for.

The very reason you feel like you don't belong is that parts of you haven't yet come together. You have feelings, you have a soul. But somewhere in your childhood, the emotional pain became too much. And so your mind took over. That's how you survived.

But survival is not the same as living and shining your light…

I'll give you an example of what I mean by experiencing what you are looking for.

Imagine a cat that was abused by its owners and eventually brought to an animal shelter. This cat distrusts humans with every cell of its body.

But once it's taken in by a loving and caring family, it slowly begins to open up and trust again. And once that connection is formed, the same cat might become the most loving you have ever seen.

The point here is that the cat needs two things: a new environment and a new experience. The same is true for you.

Your current circle of friends likely resonates with the version of you that was living in your head. But if you want to reconnect with your feelings and emotions, you'll need an environment that is stronger in those areas.

It can be as simple as that.

What you need to become whole

My healing journey started with gaining access to my emotional world again.

If you mainly live in your emotions, you might need to strengthen your mind.

The point is that you need all pieces to be whole and balanced.

There are dozens of courses out there to help you with that. But in my opinion, nothing beats making better experiences. That's when you start to believe it's possible. And that you can have it too.

I haven't mentioned the soul level yet, and there's a good reason for that. It is the point you'll need to worry about least.

You will feel when your life is soul-crushing. The better you learn to listen to your body, the sooner you get the message. You don't need a life crisis as a wakeup call from your soul…

And when your emotional world and mind are in a healthy balance, your soul acts as the third piece to truly make you whole again.

It will not be a magical moment. But you'll know the healing is real when you're at peace with yourself, and nothing feels missing anymore.

That’s when you finally feel at home and connected to life and your environment.

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