Why You're Not Behind in Life

Walking at your own pace is the key to a happy, fulfilled life

Unhappiness wears many faces. One of them is the feeling that you're falling behind in life. If only you could catch up, try a little harder, be a bit smarter - then life would be great. You'd leave your shadow behind and turn your face towards the sun.

It's a belief that many people hold. I was one of them, until I found a healthier way to see life.

It all starts with making comparisons. How else would you “know” that you're behind? But it's not just comparing yourself to others. It's also measuring yourself against expectations that you've picked up along the way.

We all have different starting points

Some people are born with a head start. They grew up in wealthy families, received better education, or simply won the genetic lottery. Some of them can make use of that “advantage”, while others don't.

In school, I envied my classmates when we had to learn the flute. For me, it was a real struggle. My fingers felt like they were about to break. For everyone else, it was a walk in the park.

Later, I found out they'd all had music education in kindergarten before. They did not start from zero like I did.

Eventually, I was able to play the flute reasonably well. But it would have been far less mental pain if I’d only looked at the progress I was making.

We have no control over life

We love to predict the future because it gives us a sense of safety. Then we can make plans and simply tick items off our to-do lists.

Life would be easy if it actually worked that way.

The truth is, life is full of surprises — the kind that can bring sudden and dramatic changes. Of course, you can make new plans and adjust your course. You might reach your goal later than expected. But does this really justify “feeling behind”?

Each of us lives a different story

We all walk different paths through life. Our past shapes us. From the lessons we've learned, we develop principles for how to approach life.

Some people prefer quick fixes to their problems. Others prefer to solve a problem once and make sure it never happens again.

Of course, the latter approach is usually slower — but it offers peace of mind in the long run.

So when you look at the progress people are making in their lives, it helps to consider their priorities and values.

Life happens in seasons

Our world seems to spin faster and faster. Yesterday's 24/7 is today's baseline. To keep up, we chase brain hacks and efficiency tricks to gain an edge.

In doing so, we neglect our very nature. Burnout and depression aren't just warnings — they're full stop signs.

When we're riding the wave, we tend to forget that even the strongest minds and bodies need rest. After all, we're a part of nature. No animal hunts and chases all the time. Some hibernate, others feast once in a while, and then do nothing for days or even weeks.

Of course, there are busy bees and ants… but they all share one thing: they don't live long. Guess why.

Life has no destination

For a long time, I chased goals, hoping they'd make me happy one day. But every time I reached a summit, I felt nothing but emptiness.

Advertising and society tell us we need this or that to be happy and feel worthy. So we pursue these goals only to find they were an illusion.

There's nothing wrong with being ambitious if you enjoy the challenge itself. Then the journey becomes the reward. You start to appreciate the now, and you stop searching for salvation in the future.

Life has no destination — and that’s why you are exactly where you need to be on your journey.