It was a cozy winter evening back in 2010. I was with two friends who came over to have dinner with me. We did that once a month.
We used to talk about our problems, and for the last few times, it was mainly me who was complaining about my dull life and sadistic boss.
But that particular day, things were different. I listened to what my friends had to tell me. I knew they were totally right. Instead of objecting to the hard-to-swallow truth, I washed it down with wine.
“Tim, you love traveling so much. So why don’t you quit your job and travel for a year? What’s holding you back from your dream?” my friend asked.
I thought for a moment and downed my fourth glass.
“Nothing.”
“I will resign from my job,” I replied.
They didn’t believe me and thought I just wanted them to stop talking about that topic.
I was dead serious and finally pulled the trigger after many sleepless nights.
For me, the ultimate question was: What do I want to use my life for?
And somehow, my friends helped me find an answer.
Up to this point, I followed the path laid out for me.
I finished university earlier than most and signed my first job contract before I even had my diploma. I changed jobs several times, as that was the easiest option to advance in my career.
For years, I believed I would finally get the reward I was chasing. But the day never came. Instead, I started to feel more and more miserable.
Of course, the financial cushion I built gave me freedom. And I finally found the courage to make use of it. Maybe it wasn't even brave. Maybe it was sheer desperation that made me make that decision.
My one-year trip through Latin America turned out to be some kind of initiation. Like one of the rituals ancient tribes used to turn a boy into a man.
Life tested me several times, like when I got lost in the wild on a three-day solo hike and somehow survived. Or when I crashed into a rock while paragliding, and several other times when my life was in danger.
It was not that I was actively craving such adventures and excitement. But that’s how things that seemed normal at first turned out.
I discovered that there is way more to life than I ever imagined.
If only I had asked myself earlier what I wanted to use my life for, I would have suffered far less.
But even after my return, that lesson was not so clear yet.
I reentered working life, desperate to rebuild my financial cushion. I wanted to prove to myself that taking a year off had been a good plan career-wise.
The first few years were fun. I had lots of opportunities to prove myself and test my core values. But then came a point when I was doing the job only for the money.
That's when life became unbearable again. Eventually, I called it quits.
Once again, I asked myself: What do I want to do with my life?
I realized, once more, that I had asked this essential question too late.
The routine of working life somehow numbed my inner voice.
I only woke up when the suffering became unbearable.
Same old story, just another day…
So what’s the lesson here?
For me, it was becoming conscious of what I do with my life.
We have only one life. It can end any second.
Two years ago, I had a car crash.
A truck came out of nowhere. My car was destroyed, but luckily it protected me. Apart from a bruise, I had no injuries.
It was all my fault. I looked at the wrong traffic light. Mine was red.
You don't need life lessons like these. They don't always end this well.
You also don't need to suffer for years and have a miserable life.
At some point, you may have spent so much energy that there's not enough left to turn things around.
My body always gave me signals, but I often saw them as weakness. And of course, as a man, you must not be weak. At least that's what I was taught.
The clearest sign that you're not truly living your life is hoping for salvation or luck in the future. That day will most likely never come if you're chasing the wrong things.
There’s a reason why our bodies show resistance, why life feels dull, and why you may feel you're just functioning.
There’s nothing wrong with making plans for the future and having goals. Chasing money can make a lot of sense when you have no financial cushion.
But all these things are just a means to an end. They are not tokens of happiness.
The sooner you ask yourself what you will use your life for, the more conscious you will live. And in the end, that's what brings you happiness, peace, and fulfillment.
So inspiring, Tim! I am currently in a critical moment of my life (in a good way, if you know what I mean) and reading you helps me realize that I'm clearly not alone and many others have had the courage (or the sheer desperation, as you say) to listen to their inner voice and turn their life around :-)
Very thoughtful 👏