I never thought I would write an article about fixing your mindset. Not too long ago, that would have sounded like a cosmic joke to me.
Maybe you remember when the movie “The Secret” was a thing. I quite liked it back then, although it sounded a bit woo-woo to me.
But hey, we only know things when we try. Right?
I experimented with different visualisation techniques and did all sorts of affirmations to change my mindset for the better.
Long story short... none of that worked for me. So I gave up on it.
Recently I stumbled upon so-called gratitude rituals and somehow got curious. I read that there is actually scientific proof they can help.
Maybe worth a try...
So here we are. Me doing this gratitude thing and writing about it.
Why..?
Because it did something for me and I think it’s worth writing about.
And now that I hopefully have triggered your curiosity a bit, I can start with the actual article. Yes, a somewhat long introduction.
From Healing to Living
Most of my articles are about getting out of your mind into your body. That’s quite the opposite direction from working on your mindset.
That almost sounds as if these two don’t go together.
But hear me out...
When you have a physical wound, you first clean it, then put a Band-Aid on it, gently scratch when it becomes itchy, and in the end apply cream to help with the scars and get your skin nicely soft and smooth again.
In other words, there is an order in how things work.
If you apply the cream before the wound is healed, you might mess with your wound in the worst case.
Of course, for healing wounds from your childhood, the order is often not so clear, and there are many approaches.
From my experience, it is best to first understand the dynamics to some degree and understand what actually happened.
The next step was to find a safe place; by this I mean getting distance from everything toxic for me. That was like cleaning the wound and making sure that no new dirt could get in.
That’s what I needed to do the inner work and let my wounds actually heal.
And once my wounds had closed, it felt right to turn towards life and the future I could have.
Not before.
Because before I was, like so many of us, a fear-driven person.
Now I know. Back then I didn’t.
Why Positive Thinking Never Worked for Me
Even now, I am not a fan of this think positive and the world will become your oyster kind of thing.
Yes, positive thoughts should have their place as well as negative ones. In the end, it’s just thoughts. And I have never found that forcing myself into positive thinking changes anything for the better.
Sometimes thinking “everything will be fine” simply felt like avoidance. Or like self-betrayal.
They say you have to believe in it just enough to make it come true. Otherwise, the magic of positive thinking cannot work.
Well, as a child I firmly believed I was Superman, but stretching out my arm with a tight fist never made me fly.
Yep, that’s been my experience. But I do know that other approaches work.
Like what top athletes do, for example.
I am not sure whether they do this positive thinking stuff, but they do mental exercises. Sports psychology, they call it, and it seems to be effective enough that many top athletes use it these days.
So there is something...
Maybe the real thing is less about fixing your mind and instead working on what you feed it.
Your Mind Isn’t a Machine
We are not machines. We know that. Nevertheless, when I read about how our nervous system, including the brain, works, it often sounds as if we were some sort of bio-robots.
Luckily, we are not.
We cannot simply get programmed and reprogram ourselves. That’s not how things work. At least according to my experiences. Or maybe I am just reluctant to receive commands even if I receive them from myself.
I know programming sounds so much nicer, but in the end it’s giving instructions that must be followed. At least by a computer...
Still, we can do something to change the quality of the thoughts our mind produces. It’s a bit like adjusting the course in more favorable directions without knowing where we'll end up.
We all know that it’s hard to have peaceful thoughts when we suffer from a toothache or any other pain that eats up all our attention. No matter how hard you try to force yourself into positive thinking, it won’t work because the pain reminds you instantly of your current reality.
The story is different when you feel fine and are at a place where you love to be; Like taking a walk in nature, hearing the birds sing, squirrels climbing up the trees to watch you, breathing in fresh air, and sensing the beautiful floral scents around you.
In such a setting, it’s easy to have peaceful thoughts. And even if you’d try to force yourself into negative thought loops, a squirrel may come your way and give you a short reminder that life can be beautiful. At least when it’s a life with cute red squirrels in it...
Long story short: Attention matters.
The Gratitude Experiment
After all the explanations, I now come to the gratitude ritual.