When I started my healing journey, I hoped to get more control over my life. My reasoning was that I would finally get the life I longed for.
Of course, that goal was a bit naive. Because life often just happens. It doesn’t care too much about our wishes or commands. We are not its master and never will be.
However, we do have a choice in how we want to react to what’s thrown at us.
I know it often doesn’t seem like that. But the calmer we are, the more clearly we can think and make decisions we are less likely to regret.
In other words, being calm allows us to be more in control of ourselves. And that’s quite something.
It took me quite a long time to learn to stay relatively calm when I got triggered, not losing myself in emotions or thought spirals that would further drag me down and trap me in my past.
Yep, I still can get upset, angry, and raise my voice when necessary. I am not Mr. Chill from Laid-Back Island. But the big difference is that I am aware of what’s going on. I am in the driver’s seat and can change the direction.
I had to do a lot of work to get there. My advantage was that I already knew how being calm and in control felt. I had experienced it several times before.
But only when my life was actually in danger.
The Moment Time Slowed Down
I was paragliding in the beautiful valleys near Bucaramanga (Colombia) when I suddenly lost altitude and saw a rock face right in front of me.
In less than 10 seconds, I would crash into it. Not a single chance to avoid it.
My only option was to reduce the impact and not damage my face.
No panic, no thought spirals, no drama.
Just one question: What can I do?
Time slowed down.
I figured out that stretching my legs at a slight angle could work as a shock absorber. That’s what I did. No second-guessing. Then everything went dark.
When I opened my eyes, I had no idea where I was. Lying on the ground, I watched the canopy of my glider slowly falling down on me.
I took a few deep breaths and noticed pain spreading through my feet. I got up, being happy that nothing was broken and worked as it should.
I was still in shock. But I knew that staying calm had allowed me to make the right decision.
How could I stay calm in such critical situations yet lose myself in emotions and thoughts when something triggered me?
What made the difference?