Finding Your Inner Light - Part VI
The moment your inner light begins to shine through your life
Many years back, when I was still searching for my inner light, I asked myself whether this search would ever end.
I had seen many people along the way who got lost in their own journey, almost as if the search itself had become the purpose of their life. Every new insight they got made them hungry for even deeper knowledge.
They never seemed satisfied.
Probably the reason for this was that they waited for a magic moment when everything in their lives would make sense. Something like ecstasy, divine bliss, or at least one overwhelming moment that would prove they had finally made it.
But we are humans. That’s one thing we should never forget. We are made of flesh and bone and all the experiences that shaped us. Of course, we can heal large parts of all that and integrate the parts we once abandoned.
That being said, finding your inner light will not be a reset that undoes everything you experienced. It’s more like your inner light has always been there deep inside you. It was buried under all the unprocessed pain and suffering. And now that you have done lots of inner work, it can shine through you again.
No magic moment, but a reconnection with yourself. That’s still quite something as it will allow you to live your life.
The previous part of this series was about your life stabilizing, finding direction again, and feeling overall more aligned with life itself.
This part is about the final stage of your Finding Your Inner Light journey. As mentioned above, there won’t be bells and whistles. Nevertheless, there will be clear signs that you have finally arrived.
Compassion Without Losing Yourself
Once you know who you are, you begin to see people more for what they really are. You can see through the illusion. Because you know what it was like to play roles you were not even aware of for so damn long.
You know the pain behind those roles. But now you also know that other people’s roles have nothing to do with you. Their pain is their pain.
It can be a bit like with a cranky child. You are not responsible for its feelings. However, you know what it’s going through and try to calm it the best you can. But you sure take a few steps back when the child tries to attack you.
And, you wouldn’t take this personally. It’s a child, you know...
For me, it was quite a surprise how many wounded children still live inside adult bodies. It’s hard to believe. That’s why we feel bad when a boss, our parents, or any other authority person yells at us, puts us down, or does anything else an immature child would do.
We may have even learned at a young age that our mother or father needed us for their emotional stabilisation. And once we began to feel responsible for their emotional well-being, we also had to abandon parts of ourselves to do that job. For many, that was also the point when we lost the connection to our inner light.
But hey... now we have it back. And now we can see. Now we know that other people’s pain doesn’t have to be our pain.
It’s in our hands how much we want to help. We do not have to lose ourselves just because someone else is suffering.
The rest of this essay is for paid subscribers. Below the paywall, we go deeper into what changes once anxiety no longer runs the show.